A special dedication

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My mind has been overloaded beyond limit,
My imminent feelings have known no bounds perhaps limits,
My ego has imbibed fear giving me no permit,
To express the rather primal heartfelt feelings that are now a blueprint,
Disguising myself to be apathetic, unaware of the damn repercussion
That such could bear.
What a coward, but it has forced me.

Not that I am coward per se with a frail heart,
Get this clear, understand this cause my point is clear,
To you a crush I had, but hard it became dear,
To open and tell you this, something so cynical
But sounded so difficult and further became a baggage,
Correlating the current situation leaving me disdain,
What a coward, but i l am obliged to.

Days so far, but I count solid years,
I've tried, all in vain, all i obtained was fear,
Thoughts dropped asunder, but the pale heart being the abettor,
In the rancid quest of letting you know this.
I remain skeptical and quietly sat on the fence,
Watching as my feelings raced concurrently with the other way,
What a coward, but i was obliged to.

Rest assured this you'll read,
Under the mistletoe note the lines, an my intent establish,
To clear all this out and the message kindly publish,
And let me know 'cause the adoration has become so dear
Set me free once and don't fear,
'Cause this is the analogy that brought torture,
What a coward, but i was obliged to.

Before the lectern i stand purposefully,
Loudly proclaiming rather reciting this hopefully,
That perhaps you'll get to realize it eventually,
And decrypt my message with elegance,
And let me know exactly,
If i should stay or leave immediately....
What a coward, but i was obliged to.